Quick Stories from attending the "Holy War"

STORY #1
I attended the BYU vs. Utah college football game on Saturday November 19th, 2005 and it was a pretty good game overall. But this story takes place during halftime of the game when BYU was losing by 21 points and the fans were pissing their pants in anger.

I was sitting on the upper seats of the right stands of Lavell Edwards Stadium when I heard some loud talking between two men about three rows behind me. When I looked back to see what the two guys were talking about, a woman sitting close to them asked a dumb question. "Are you two brothers?" It was like watching a Bill Engvall "Here's Your Sign" joke come to life.
The more angry one of the two replied, "No, we're grandfathers" and then I kid you not, he flipped her off and called her a "bitch" and then used the word "fuck" in the next couple sentences.

It was one of the most funny things I've seen in a while and I couldn't believe something like that would happen on the BYU Campus. If you don't know about the school or the mormon religion then you wouldn't realize how rare this kind of thing is to see. Because it is certainly not tolerated there. That's one of the reasons I don't go to BYU for school.

Of course the woman and the fans sitting close by were pretty shocked and frustrated about what happened. They all started to torment the guy with "Don't do that, don't say that". The dumbest example of other spectators talking back was a father saying to the two guys, "I don't want my 14-year-old son sitting next to me to hear those kinds of words." I thought to myself, "Oh please, he's probably heard the words fuck and bitch about 200 times by the time he turned 14." The kid said it didn't bother him, no duh. This is 2005, not 1955.

Anyway, security took the two guys away for about 10 minutes and then they returned and nothing else really happened. The woman who got flipped off blamed the incident on people not sitting in their exact seats. I understand that because you get such little room on those ass hurting benches.

STORY #2
Earlier when the game started, some fans stood on a bench in front of my dad and I. And when they stood on it, we couldn't see the game. So my dad yelled at them very loudly. Since he doesn't yell that much, it sort of scared the begesus out of me. Then the guys got out of the way and put a motorcycle helmet and jacket down on the bench. I got so pissed at them that I wanted to grab the helmet, take it to the bathroom, and piss in it. I also wanted to throw the jacket towards the field and make the guy go get it. But I didn't do that stuff, I'm not stupid. So I just thought to myself. Stupid nerdy ass fucking dicks, sit the fuck down.

Wrong Door DUMB ASS!!!

This has got to be the picture of the day in my opinion, and shit, look at his face. I wonder if this is the face he makes when he has an orgasm? I heard about this picture this morning on the radio and after hearing the description of it, I just had to go look for it. I saw it the first time this morning on the front page of The New York Times. Then I wanted to post it today and so, here it is. Oh well, 38 more months with this dude in office, there's plenty of more jokes to cum with this guy. (Ha ha get it, the orgasm reference and then I said cum.)

More Movie Reviews

THE BROTHERS GRIMM
Well I knew I didn't REALLYwant to see it but it was OK I guess. I didn't know who or what the hell The Brothers Grimm are. But with all the fairy tale references, I made a pretty easy connection. I am not a big fan of fantasy or horror movies, so this just wasn't my bag. I got a little sleepy during the beginning so it may have thrown me off. It was like watching Van Helsing again, that blah blah blah mystery feel. Not really funny or entertaining but I still kept my eye on it. I did like the brother theme, if you don't have one then the movie doesn't feel real. Matt Damon and Heath Ledger did alright, but not as great as earlier performances from the two. So I suggest seeing it if you know what you are going to get, cause I didn't.

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
(aka, Michael Jackson and the Chocolate Factory) But seriously after watching this I'm convinced that Tim Burton should stick to his weird movies with misunderstood or odd characters and stay the hell away from re-making movies. Planet of the Apes sort of sucked and this one just can't beat the original Willy Wonka movie. It's like comparing the old Star Wars movies with the recent ones, it's hard to compare visual effects and acting because of the change in time. Johnny Depp was very..who gives a shit. The four young actors did very well in their parts. I liked how it stayed true to the book (even though I never read the book but I could tell the certain type of illustrations that have been used in Roald Dahl books was there) The changes this version had were very boring, it's not called Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory so I don't give a rat's ass about Wonka's childhood. The music by Danny Elfman really SUCKED, the movie would of been fine without the Oompa Loompa songs with all the different genres of music. Once again-Tim Burton, keep making your OWN shit, like Big Fish. Thank you

Damn You Blogspot, Let me post some pictures. Anyway, I saw the dumbest movie last night.

The Dumb movie of the moment right now is D.E.B.S.
Don't get me wrong, I love independent movies, especially the ones that were shown at the Sundance Film Festival, but this was a total waste of film.
When the premise of a movie is being told to me or when I read the little summary on the back of the DVD, that's what I want to see dammit.
It was supposed to be a good vs. Evil battle to death, or at least a secret crime fighting unit of females called the D.E.B.S. (I have no clue what it stands for) kicking some ass, chick style.
Jeez, it turned into a very dumb, boring, and irritating lesbian love story.
Before I go on, I don't hate gay people at all, this is not what this is all about. I feel good that a movie that was edited, written, and directed by a Lesbian is being put out there. Plus I saw the movie with a group of gay people and felt comfortable.
Anyway, it turned into a really stupid love story when the villain chick falls in love with one of the good guys, or should I say girls.
Another thing I couldn't stand was that the good guys sucked at being good and the bad guys sucked even more at being bad. In another movie, the D.E.B.S. could of just shot the villain bitch in the first half hour of the movie and then it would be over. No crappy lesbian love and no dumb ass story. Don't get me wrong, I'm a guy and the whole lesbian subtext of the film would of got my attention if it were another movie. But that's not what I wanted out of this movie.
Well that's my rant for now.

I suck at this posting stuff. It's been a while, Sorry.

Here I thought I could say something or bring up something slightly amusing every day, I was so wrong. It's been a while since I've posted something. I'm just busy as usual with all of my schoolwork, mostly the stuff that I have a month to complete: 1 big fat ass argumentative paper, one report about someone or something in the media, and a pretty big paper comparing two films with one common archetype or theme. The thing I should do is just complete all three of these things now and just relax through the rest of the semester, but I'm too lazy to do that.

Anyway, I saw that SKY HIGH movie. Yikes! Talk about your average shitty Disney channel quality movie. It has every cliche of superheroes, high school, and friendship that makes the film so fucking predictable and not to mention DUHHHM. I realize that I was going to react this way before I saw it, but like most movies I just said, "what the hell, I'll see it." My New Years resolution from this year was to see more movies this year than any one before and I've done this by seeing anything no matter how crappy it looks. At the end of the year I will rank all the movies I saw from the very good to the very terrible. Stay tuned

The Monopoly McDonalds game is over thank God, my total winnings from the whole experience was $29 in Best Buy Bucks that I used to get R. Kelly's Trapped in The Closet Chapters 1-12 DVD and Blink 182's Greatest Hits CD, three ringtones that I'll never get probably, and a free song from iTunes that I already used to get Korn's new single Twisted Transistor, and a bunch of the same free food at McDonalds that I DON'T WANT including breakfast sandwiches (breakfast is my least favorite meal), small drinks (Coke products in a small cup doesn't compare to the many cans of Pepsi at my home), and McFlurrys (I don't care about that germ covered M&M creamy bacteria filled ice cream shit).

Goodbye for now